Sometimes it just hits you like lightning in broad daylight, the unbearable and excruciating pain; pain so strong I would tear my hair away. It felt like someone was stabbing my ovaries with a knife. Feelings of emptiness and total fog would cloud my mind. Shouting, crying, shivering and vomiting was the icing on the cake. My stomach was looking like a 4 month pregnant woman. Extreme fatigue to the point where the only option is to sleep. Isolation. Guilty. Confusion. Desperation. Survival. Why me?
Does it sound familiar?
I call them my “tragic 20’s”, because Endometriosis stole seven years of my precious 20’s between hospitals, surgeries, doctors, medications and a lot of pain.
When did it start?
Until today I can’t answer that. Genetics? Environmental toxins? Food? Stress? Lifestyle? Who knows! Maybe a combination of everything.
When I was in high school I was a very active person. I actually wanted to become a professional part-time footballer (don’t even ask). Even-though I started my periods at 14 I really never had any pain whatsoever. My only surgery was an appendicitis when I was 14 years old (after eating a whole plate of lasagna for breakfast, imagine that!).
During my teenage years my health was good, I hardly ever had a flu or a fever. Things started to change when I was around 17/18 years old. My family and I moved back to Italy after living in Kenya for almost 8 years.
My lifestyle and diet changed. I remember quite well indulging in entire packets of cookies and nutella for my afternoon snack. My sugar intake increased drastically. Most mornings I would eat “tramezzino” (a soft bread sandwich which is very popular in Italy), filled with tuna and mayo or prosciutto, cheese and accompanied with sweetened ice tea. Just the thought of it makes me cringe – now.
I often wonder if this change was my tipping point. However, I believe that I had already started developing Endo even before I relocated.
My lifestyle was still very active, but I completely stopped any form of sports.
As time passed by my periods started getting worse and worse. I would sleep several times during the day and still felt exhausted. Many of my friends would call me ‘Lazarus’ or lazy.
A few months after I turned 20 my Ob/Gyn found a cyst on my chest, nothing serious, as doctors say: “It’s a very common thing among women.” Around that period I also started taking the contraception pill for the first time, a recommendation from my Ob/Gyn since Chris and were going to get married in few months. At the time I thought it was my best option, no risks in having my periods on my wedding day!
Meanwhile, in the midst of everything, I didn’t know what was going on and I tried to schedule my life like any other normal 20-year-old would do. As time passed by, the fatigue got worse to the point that I found it very difficult to socialize, go out and do things with my friends. If I did, I would be totally devastated for several days after that. Slowly, many of the friends that we had started to disappear or to keep their distance because I was “anti-social” (which became my new nickname) “always canceling” social engagements and “always sick” . Thank goodness I had such a loving and caring husband, who took care of me in every way.
I was confined in bed 3 weeks a months. Excedrin, Tylenol, Toradol (Ketorolac Tromethamine), Moment (an Italian Ibuprofen high-dose), had all become my best friends.
Come to think of it, there was no way even in my wildest dreams I could have worked a “normal” full-time 8-hour job.
Along with my husband’s help, I decided to give English lessons to kids around my neighborhood. Loved it! Flexible hours and no risk of getting fired if I cancelled the lessons. All the moms were very understanding of the situation. Plus, I had loads of fun with the kids.
By the time I was 23 I had 4 surgeries: an umbilical hernia, various cysts in various part of my body (2 different surgeries) and an appendectomy.
I still had no idea though what exactly was generating all of my debilitating symptoms. For a while I thought it was depression, but I would soon discover the truth!
I’d love to tell you more about my first laparoscopy and how I found out about Endo but I’ll leave it to my next blog. I’m sure many of you have similar or worse Endo stories, so please feel free to leave a comment below. Tell me about “your beginnings”.
Until we talk again, Ciao for now!
happyhealthyendo 